Gwen in Wonderland
by XxLumpySpacePrincessxX
Summary: Gwen falls into a hole and finds herself in Wonderland... but the characters are her campmates? Disclaimer: i do not own TDI or Alice in Wonderland but yeah this is fanmade :  hope u enjoy! R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: I've wanted to do a parody fic for a while, so I you

now made this one up because I thought it would be fun, and Alice in

Wonderland is a classic I have always liked so I adapted it with Total

Drama characters. After all the hard work I have been doing on my

school projects I have been doing, I thought I could just take a break

of middle school and write a Total Drama fic. Why did I pick this

particular fairy tale to adapt? Like I said, I just like it. Why Gwen?

Cause I like torturing her heh Hope you enjoy!

Note to anyone who's read this fic before: All right, all right, I

will take a long time doing this fic, I mean, the 7th grade year is

almost ending, and I have too much schoolwork on the way and tomorrow

I will be going to Alabama for Space Camp so I might take some

time maybe a month for the second chapter so no worries! And bleh I am

really lazy so of course I will be taking some time to finish the fic

so if you don't get to read the whole fic until maybe the year 2016,

blame it all on me xD! I only wanted to mention this so that way you

will notice the fic will take some time to be finished. But anyways,

the fic will obviously take long because the chapters are pretty long

and all that. That's all, just so you know.

Disclaimer: Total Drama characters are a © of Teletoon and Cartoon

Network, or Fresh TV. 'Alice in Wonderland' originally created by

Lewis Carrol, but I believe the book is now public domain. Also I

would give some credit for the movies. Whatever :P

++Gwen in Wonderland++ by XxLumpySpacePrincessxX

Part 1: Endless Fall

The sun was shining in a clear sky, bird song flittered through the

air, and the world was draped in lush green shadows from the trees

hanging overhead… but Gwen wasn't paying attention to any of that.

The young goth girl's eyes were instead fixed on a green notebook with

a lock on it. She was writing all of her experiences she has had that

weekend, like when she went to the mall with her friends.

Although she has her friends and family to keep her company, she still

missed everybody in the Total Drama cast, except for Heather. She only

came to the park to relax and write on her diary, she was half asleep.

She was having trouble keeping her eyes open, having stayed up till

three AM watching a scary movies marathon on TV with her younger

brother. Gwen yawned and her eyelids fluttered as she sat back and

thought about how nice and cool the grass felt and how great it was to

lay in the shade, how sleepy the sun was making her feel and how she

longed to just lie against the tree and…

"No I can't!" she reminded to herself. "I can't go to sleep! Mom will

be here anytime soon to pick me up and she is my only ride home!"

Hearing her own voice snapped her out of her fatigue a bit and she

peeked around the tree trunk.

"When is she coming? I am really getting tired of being here." Gwen

just kept writing on her diary like nothing has ever happened.

Ten minutes later Gwen awoke from where she had passed out in the

grass. She rubbed her eyes and sat up, little blades of green stuck to

her pale face. Quickly she grabbed her journal and looked over to see

if her mom was there already. "Where could she be?"

Frowning, Gwen stuck the diary in her backpack, angry with herself

for falling asleep and checking if her mom had arrived and loosing

precious time to finish about her Saturday, when she heard a familiar

voice she has been dying to hear. "Oh no! I am late! I'm late!"

"Duncan!" Is it true? Is he her after all, thought Gwen, and looked

in the direction of the voice. Sure enough, she spotted Duncan rushing

towards her, only he didn't look like he had a few months ago since

she last remembered him; he was now wearing a furry hood with white

bunny ears attached to it and had a pink dot of a nose placed in the

center of his face. Instead of his usual attire his favorite shirt has

been replaced by a white shirt under a red jacket adorned with gold

buttons. Gwen watched dumbfounded as the punk skidded to a stop

directly in front of her and pulled a large, gold watch out of his

pocket. "She's going to have my head for this!" he cried and darted

past.

"Duncan!" Gwen scrunched up her face in confusion. Instantly she was

on her feet and running across the grass in hot pursuit, but it wasn't

easy keeping up with the speedy little Duncan bunny.

"Duncan!" she called through her panting breaths as she gradually

began to catch up. "Where are you going? huff And why…huff why the

heck are you dressed like a bunny!"

"I am no bunny, I'm a rabbit!" he snorted indignantly. "And I have no

time for your dumb questions, stranger, I'm late!" Then with that,

Duncan disappeared down a large hole in the side of a hill, half

hidden under a hedge. Gwen, who was too puzzled to think straight,

never even considered that this could be some sort of prank and popped

in after her.

She crawled along the cramped, dusty tunnel on her hands and knees,

calling out Duncan's name as she went. Am I losing my mind or was

Duncan really dressed as a rabbit? And why did he call me stranger?

Gwen wondered, then, as the shock wore off she realized how carelessly

she had acted by following in so hastily after somebody that she has

been missing.

"I don't know if I ought to be doing this. Maybe I should turn back

while I still- YAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Gwen's words were suddenly cut-off by

her screams of terror as the ground underneath her hands took a sharp

slide downwards, and she plunged headfirst down a gaping black hole.

Gwen's breath caught in her throat as she tumbled through the air. She

squeezed her eyes shut tightly, waiting for the bone-shattering impact

that was sure to come. She waited… and waited… and waited. "Hmm?

What's taking so long? If I'm gonna die I'd like to get it over with."

She dared to open one eye slightly and found that she was still

falling, but it didn't seem she was falling very fast. In fact she

seemed to be floating rather pleasantly downwards, as she was holding

an umbrella that she found on the way. Gwen gasped, "T-this is

impossible!" She looked around, her jaw dropping even more as she

noticed the sides of the hole, which were covered with cupboards,

picture frames, mirrors, coat hangers, clocks, bookshelves, posters,

and a whole bunch of other things you wouldn't expect to find in a

hole. A number of objects like tables, chairs, lamps, teapots, cups,

and a chess set also drifted up past her, and Gwen cocked a

questioning eyebrow at the odd sights.

"This is no normal hole," she decided, clearly stating the obvious.

"Maybe I'm falling into another dimension. This is way too freaky. And

why was Duncan wearing a bunny costume? That is very unusual for

Duncan. And how did he get here so quick anyways? We live very far

apart. And how did he know I was in the park and called me a stranger

and…" Gwen went on and on, trying to comprehend the situation. She

also noticed something strange, she was asking herself too much

questions about this insane situation for her.

Gwen looked down. Try as she might she couldn't see an end to this

long hole. "What if there is no end," she thought, then quickly

dismissed the idea. There had to be an end; after all, the Earth was

only so big. "I suppose I'd eventually come out on the other side…

but wait…" she paused, "That's impossible because I'd be burned to a

crisp before I even made it to the outer core."

This idea didn't exactly put Gwen's mind at ease. "Well um, then

again… maybe the Earth is hollow," she thought, trying desperately to

push the other image out of her head. "In that case I wouldn't have to

worry about burning up. Still, once I reached the center of the Earth

I'd be stuck there since every way would be up… but that's

ridiculous," she chuckled, "because once I got there the incredible

force of the Earth's gravity would crush me like a wadded up gum

wrapper."

Somehow this thought didn't make Gwen feel any better either, so she

decided to just shut-up and concentrate on the passing scenery. A

string of very strange objects swirled past her as she fell, including

the x- Ray glasses she found on Cody's pocket in the Amazon, a creepy

looking picture of Izzy, a freaky Elmo doll, and an ugly looking

animal, which she didn't had the minimal idea of what it was. "Oooooo-

kay…" Gwen said, coming to the conclusion that she'd had quite enough

scenery. Still, she kinda wished she'd brought her camera.

After a while Gwen began glancing around again, her curiosity getting

the better of her as it usually did. As she fell past a shelf she

picked up a jar that had caught her eye. "Blech…" she made an 'icky'

face at the label which read Jellied Pig's Toes, and Lord only knew

why it'd caught her eye in the first place. Gwen released it with a

smile, wondering if maybe it'd drop and land on Heather if she was

there, but instead of falling, the jar floated up above her and

disappeared into the darkness.

Minutes passed and Gwen continued to plummet. The fall seemed to be

taking forever and she was getting pretty bored. Just as she was

debating on whether or not to start a round of 'Ninety-nine Bottles of

Beer on the Wall,' the laws of gravity suddenly returned, and she

dropped the remaining length of the hole, landing with a loud THUD.

"Oww," Gwen groaned and rubbed her backside. She had be feeling that

one in the morning. "Now where am I?" she asked no one in particular.

Just then she spotted a flash of red and white out of the corner of

her eye heading down a long hallway.


	2. Entrance to Madness

Part 2: Entrance to Madness

"Duncan!" Gwen shouted and ran after him. She pumped her legs as hard as they would go and soon was right on Duncan's tail (yes, Duncan literally had a cute, fluffy cotton tail to go along with the rest of his bunny motif). "Duncan!" she panted, "Where are we? What's going on?"

The Duncan-rabbit flashed his eyes at Gwen in annoyance. "Uh whoever this 'Duncan' guy is," he snarled, "i'm not him, ok? I am the White Rabbit and you will refer to me that way"

"Oh give me a break, Duncan. All you did was put some bunny ears on and tie a stupid pink nose around your head. Do you think I'm dumb?"

"Hey, if you say so..." Duncan smirked, and Gwen scowled knowing she'd walked right into that one. She tried to cook up a good retaliation but was running out of breath, and Duncan was now too far ahead to hear her anyway. Duncan whipped around a corner, and a moment later Gwen did the same, finding herself in a large, dimly lit room with a high, arched ceiling. She spotted a small table made of glass sitting off to the side, but as for Duncan there was absolutely no sign of him.

"He got away AGAIN!" Gwen's eyes darted around the room, looking for Duncan's means of escape, but instead they landed on something sitting on the table. She walked over, her boot heels echoing loudly on the checkered tile floor, and picked up the tiny object.

"A key? Then there must be a door around here somewhere." Gwen looked around again; she didn't see any doors, but behind her she spied a low curtain covering a section of the wall. Being her paranoid self she eyed it suspiciously, then pulled a corner aside revealing an extremely small door which barely came up to her knees.

Gwen narrowed an eye. "You have GOT to be kidding me."

She set the key back on the table and kneeled down to examine the door more closely. "How am I supposed to get through that!" she frowned.

Then she noticed the doorknob. Gwen just stared at it for a moment, furrowing her brow in confusion as she noted the odd, yet strangely familiar shape of it; it looked actually like a tiny person with very nice abs and tanned skin. It sort-of reminded her of some good looking guy she's seen before. Ju-Justin? The thought wormed its way into her head, but Gwen promptly shook it off. What am I thinking! That's ridiculous! She reached down and turned the funny looking knob only to be rewarded with a loud yelp of surprise. Gwen, caught completely off guard, returned the scream and jumped backwards.

"Agh, this is the third time this week that's happened!" the doorknob spoke in a really familiar voice. "You don't have to turn so hard you know."

"Sorry," Gwen apologized, somehow not really all that shocked to be talking to a doorknob. After all, she did Duncan in a bunny suit running around. She could certainly handle this.

"These abs don't work by themselves, you know," came the reply. "Now, is there something I can help you with, beautiful rose?"

"Actually I was wondering if an pu-punk boy dressed up like a rabbit came through here by any chance?" She said, drooling.

"As a matter of fact he did. You just missed him."

"So Duncan was here?" Gwen crossed her arms. "I have to follow him!"

The door chuckled. "Don't be silly my darling. You'd never be able to fit that huge body of yours through here."

"I'll take that as a compliment" Gwen said.

"Well, I suggest you try that bottle over on the table."

"Huh? But there's no b-…" Gwen began, but when she turned around she did in fact see a small vial sitting on the glass tabletop. Well it wasn't there before, she thought, walking over and picking it up. "Hmm… Drink Me," she read the words printed on the tag draped around the bottleneck and eyed the liquid suspiciously. "And exactly how is drinking this stuff supposed to help me?"

"What do I look like, a Genius? Just do it!" the door spoke up impatiently.

"Alright, alright." Gwen stuck out her jaw and grudgingly uncorked the bottle before taking a hesitant sip. "Mm… not bad," she remarked and took a longer drink. Wiping her mouth she set the half-empty bottle back on the table, but as she did she noticed that something seemed a little… off.

Was that table… always so high up?

Suddenly she was struck with an odd sinking sensation, and she watched in amazement as the entire room appeared to be expanding around her. "What the-…!" Gwen gasped as she realized she was shrinking! In a matter of seconds the teal-haired teen stood no higher than a Popsicle stick.

"Wow… What was in that stuff?" Gwen's jaw hung open as she looked down at herself, examining her new tiny size. "Hmm," she pulled on a corner of her skirt and cocked an eyebrow, "and how come my clothes shrank too?" Oh well, it was best not to question a good thing.

Gwen ran over to the door, which she was now the perfect size to fit through, eager to catch back up to Duncan. She grabbed the knob and twisted it several times, frowned, then started pulling and tugging on it as hard as she could.

"Ow! Hey, take it easy there," the doorknob pleaded.

Gwen complained, "But I can't get the door open."

"Well of course you can't."

"Huh? Why not?"

"Because I'm locked."

"Oh, okay, I guess that explains…" it slowly dawned on Gwen what had been said. "Wait a minute, You're WHAT!"

"I said I'm locked. Didn't I mention that?"

"NO!" Gwen wailed mournfully, burying her face in her hands.

"You have the key, don't you?" the door inquired.

"Hmm? What key?"

"The little gold one."

Gwen's face suddenly brightened. "Oh that key! Yeah I left it over on the table," she chuckled in relief and started walking over. "I'll just go… and… um, get…it…" she trailed off as she approached the table, discovering it was now about seven times higher than she was. Gwen groaned and smacked her forehead.

"Don't tell me you left it up there," the door remarked.

"Gee, you think?" Gwen shot back. The girl stormed over and stared up at the key through the glass. She tried everything she could think of to try and get it; she tried climbing a table leg, but kept sliding down, then she tried ramming the table to nudge the key off the edge, but only succeeded in nearly dislocating her shoulder. She tried willing it over the side, but lacked the necessary spooky mind powers to pull this off. Finally she tried yelling and cursing at it, but the key still didn't budge. Having run out of ideas, Gwen sighed helplessly and slumped to the ground. She was really not enjoying her altered height.

"Stupid key," she grumbled, looking up at it sitting there through the glass, as if taunting her dilemma further.

"Well, I guess you're doomed to spend the rest of your life here," the door piped in cheerily.

Gwen blinked, not sure she'd heard right. "What!"

"Heh heh, just kidding."

"Real funny," Gwen muttered.

The door went on, "If you really want out, all you have to do is look next to you."

Gwen did, and spotted a small box sitting next to her hand, which she opened to discover a little snack cake with 'BITE ME' written on it in white frosting. She raised an eyebrow at the odd choice of wording.

"Well… I guess if the bottle made me small… maybe this'll make me grow big enough to reach the key," she figured, "…Or small enough to crawl under the door, either way I guess. Besides, it's not like I've got a lot of options here." Deciding either way was better than being stuck, Gwen picked up the cake and chomped into it before she could change her mind.

Gwen got to her feet and waited for some sort of reaction. She measured herself against the table leg, but as far as she could tell she hadn't changed a bit. Frowning, she walked a little ways away from the table and tried again, holding her hand over her head to see if she was getting any larger or smaller, but still nothing happened. "Great," she pouted, crossing her arms, "It's not work- Whoa!" Before she could finish speaking too soon, Gwen found the room was rapidly closing in on her; she was growing at an unheard-of rate, and the next second she cried out in pain as the back of her head smacked up against the ceiling.

"Oww…" Gwen moaned, rubbing her sore cranium, realizing in horror that she was now well over twenty feet tall.

The door called up to her, "Looks like you took too big of a bite."

"Not THIS big!" Gwen gestured down at herself, her voice rising with panic.

"Are you ok? You hit your head pretty hard there."

"Yeah I'm fine" Gwen said, rubbing her head.

"Look on the bright side," said the door, and Gwen stared at it as if it'd just suggested she put a live lobster down her skirt. "At least now you can reach the key."

Gwen reached down by her ankle and plucked the key off the table. Looking at it sitting in the palm of her hand she thought it resembled a grain of sand more than it did a key. "Hmph. Lotta good it does me now," she huffed in frustration, "I'm too big to fit through this stupid yet good looking door."

"Hey!" The door replied.

All this was just too much for Gwen. She was prepared to deal with drama and love and and teen situations and stuff, but THIS! This place defied all logic! And now she'd be stuck here for the rest of her life, and there is nothing she can do about it. Gwen's lower lip began to quiver and she felt the hot sting of tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. She tried desperately not to give in to the urge to cry, but a few stray teardrops managed to spill over her eyelids and splatter on the floor.

Seeing Gwen's distress, the doorknob sighed sympathetically. "Oh, come on, settle down now. You don't want to start a flood, do you? And anyway, you can always finish what's left of the bottle."

Gwen sniffled and wiped her eyes, her expression brightening a bit. She'd completely forgotten about that! (Funny how your mind works in these situations, isn't it?) The girl knelt down and picked up the bottle, being extremely careful not to crush it between her giant fingertips. It was a royal hassle trying to get the cork out, and Gwen eventually just gave up and swallowed the bottle like a pill. Almost instantly she began growing smaller, until she was once again only a few inches tall. She gripped the key, which she'd held on to, and rushed happily over to the little door, splashing through a large puddle of her own tears as she went. I'm glad I didn't cry any more than this, she thought, a little embarrassed with herself for crying in the first place, or who knows what kind of disaster it might have turned into. Why did I cry anyway? That's pretty unusual for me. Of course the whole situation was pretty unusual, so Gwen just chalked it up to temporary insanity.

"Finally! I can get out of this stupid room," she exclaimed as she fumbled with the lock.

"Um, there is a little something I should probably warn you about first," the door informed her.

Gwen turned the knob. "Why, what's there to warn me abo-…?" she was suddenly and unexpectedly interrupted as an enormous rush of water thundered through the opening. She was thrown violently back and swallowed in the ensuing tide. The room was flooding quickly, and Gwen tried desperately to stay above the water, but the suction was far too strong, and she was forcefully sucked through the door and swept away by the current. After a moment she struggled to the surface and spit out a mouthful of water, finding herself in the middle of an endless expanse of ocean.

Waves kept washing over her and filling her mouth with water. "Ugh, this is just perfect," Gwen complained. "That dumb door could've warned me before I opened it. Now instead of withering away I get to drown." She swam around aimlessly for a few minutes until she spotted a strip of land and made her way over, gratefully stumbling onto the shore. As Gwen dumped the water out of her boots she noticed she was standing at the mouth of a forest. She also heard a splishing noise behind her, and turned just in time to see Duncan crawling out of the water.

The rabbit-suited punk coughed and sputtered as he stood up and shook the water off his tail. "Good thing I brought extra clothes." he muttered and took off into the woods.

"Duncan! Wait!" Gwen, wasting no time, quickly pulled on her boots and was after him in a flash.


	3. Tweedle Dumbheads

Part 3: Tweedle Dumbheads

Duncan led Gwen deep into the woods, always keeping well ahead of him, but Gwen would never give up. She just had to know what was going on, and she'd just about caught up to him when the punk ducked through a row of bushes. Gwen leaped after him, only to be slammed backwards a split second later by something squishy. After the trees stopped spinning the girl sat up, and her black eyes gazed up at what she'd run into.

Standing in front of her were two statues, and at first Gwen could've sworn they were statues of opposites. The resemblance of both of them were very different, even if they wore the same clothes. One of them was skinny and tanned skin, while the other was pretty chubby and white. Both of them had pink shorts and matching shoes, with a striped short top, and their black hairs were tied up back with two small ponytails.

"What weird looking statues," Gwen remarked, making a face. "What are they doing out in the middle of the woods?" She crept over for a closer analysis, curious to see what they were made out of, when she was startled by a voice from the skinny one.

"Statues? You think we're STATUES!" it snorted indignantly.

"And he called us weird looking! I've never been so insulted!" the chubby one also piped up.

Gwen's eyes widened, and she took a step back as the figures bent down and stared her in the face.

"Hmm, she's too pale," the chubby one finally spoke.

"Yeah, the ones in dark clothes are most of the time super pale" said the skinny one, and her 'twin' shot her an odd glance. "Oh my gosh, I've never seen anyone like her, have you?"

The chubby one nodded. "No."

"Well, pale or not," the skinny one turned back to Gwen, trying to change the subject, "if you think were statues youre probably like really blind."

"I-I didn't know you were alive," Gwen stammered. "You were standing so-…"

"Well if you wanted to know if we were alive you should have asked!" she interrupted.

"And she didn't even apologize for running into us," added the chubby one. "Don't you have any manners?"

"I- uh…"

"Apparently she doesn't," whispered the skinny to the chubby. "Look at this! She pretty much bruised my leg!" she yelled, looking hard at Gwen.

"S-sorry," she managed to stutter.

"Sorry? Do you KNOW how much time I have to wait to get an appointment to the doctor for this?"

Gwen fidgeted uncomfortably. "I-…"

"Don't worry, Katie, you've got medical insurance, remember?" interrupted the chubby one.

The skinny one lowered and eyelid thoughtfully, "Oh yeah. Well then, never mind," she said and smiled at Gwen who just looked up at the pair distrustfully.

"Who… are you guys?" she asked finally.

"Oh, we haven't introduced ourselves," the skinny nudged the chubby and cleared her throat. "I am Tweedle Katie," she said.

"And I'm Tweedle Sadie." said the one with the whiter skin, and they both finished with a bow.

Gwen narrowed his eyes. "Uh-…huh." These two were obviously psychos. "Well it's been nice meeting you and all," she lied, backing away, "but I've got a rabbit to snare." She started to leave but was yanked back forcibly by the choker.

"That's no way to start a visit," Katie informed her. "The first thing you should do is at least say hello!" She stated.

"Uh sorry, hi!" Gwen confusedly said.

"And why is your hair like so teal?" Sadie came up behind her and flicked at Gwen's hair extensions. Gwen pulled away.

"Hey, knock it off!"

Katie sighed "you should also shake our hands, miss." and the both of them held out their hands for Gwen to shake.

Gwen grimaced, but shook them anyway.

"Whew, glad that's over," Katie breathed (apparently she felt the same way about Gwen). "So, what's your name?"

"Um, Gwen," she answered, her eyes darting from side to side, desperately looking for an escape from these two weirdos.

"Oh well, that's not your fault," Katie remarked, ignoring the scowl Gwen sent her way. "Now, watcha doing?" she curiously asked.

Gwen didn't think it was any of their business at all, but she figured an explanation might get them off her back. "Okay, If you must know I'm chasing after a boy named Duncan who led me here, even though he keeps saying he's NOT Duncan, and he keeps insisting he's a rabbit because he's dressed up in a white bunny costume and thinks that I'm stupid and I don't know it's him when it so obviously is," Gwen finished rambling and took a breath. "And now I'm kind of in a hurry, so if you'll excuse me, I really should get going." She edged away, getting ready to bolt at any minute.

"But you can't go yet, you just got here," Tweedle Katie protested.

"But I-…"

"That's right!" shouted Tweedle Sadie, and Gwen was suddenly whisked into the air by her legs.

"Look," Gwen struggled in Sadie's grip. " I really need to go now!" But she was completely ignored and carried over to a log where Sadie plunked her down.

"Now tell me," Katie leaned close to her, "do you like poetry?"

"Yeah, a little," Gwen admitted.

"Good, because I don't know any."

"How about dirty limericks?" Sadie inquired. "There once was a woman from France-…"

"Um, no thanks, I have to get going now." Gwen darted off the log but was immediately pulled back.

"How about a game then?" Katie suggested.

"Ooo! I've got Twister!" Sadie chirped excitedly.

Gwen wondered how long it would take her to die if she started holding her breath right now. "Maybe another ti-…"

"Oh wait! I have an idea. You'll LOVE this!" Katie smiled, and out of thin air produced a pink dress.

"Ugh, not your dress collection again." Sadie put a hand to her brow and shook her head hopelessly. "What is it with you and the dresses?"

"What is it with you and the… not dresses?" Katie shot back. Gwen wanted to scream.

"She doesn't want to see your stupid dresses anyway," Tweedle Sadie continued, and pulled out a makeup bag.

Tweedle Katie frowned. "Oh yeah, like she'd really rather see your dumb makeup bag."

"Hey, makeup is all the rage," Sadie clutched her bag defensively.

While they were distracted, Gwen tried to make a run for it, but Katie shoved her back down. "You'd much rather see my dresses wouldn't you," she smiled at Gwen hopefully. "They're all puffy!"

"I don't want to see ANY-…!"

"No!" Sadie shoved Katie out of the way. "She wants to see MY makeup!"

"No, she wants to see my dresses!"

"Nobody wants to see your stupid dresses!" Sadie snapped.

"Oh! Stupid are they?" Katie snarled, "Well how's this for stupid!"

"YEEEAAAHH!" Sadie screeched as Katie was forcing her into a blue dress. "YOU JERK!" she roared, and threw some purple eyeshadow at Katie who dodged out of the way, then she screamed again as her makeup bag fell and the makeup spilled out. "MY MAKEUP! This is all your fault!"

"ME! You're the one who dropped it!"

"You MADE me drop it!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did-… hey, where'd that goth girl go?" Tweedle Katie and Tweedle Sadie glanced around for Gwen, but their audience had disappeared.

"Nice going you moron, you scared her away!" Sadie scowled.

"Hmph!" Katie snorted. "YOU probably scared her just like you did to that cute guy on fourth grade!"

"Ok," Sadie glared at Katie, "You asked for it!"

"Yeah yeah, bring it on Miss Big Talk um… Girl!"

"Oh yeah?"

"YEAH!"OH YEAH!…"

Gwen could still hear Tweedle Katie and Sadie's noisy bantering as she ran off further into the woods, unbelievably grateful that she'd escaped with her sanity intact. "Those guys are absolutely crazy," she rolled her eyes. "I didn't think anyone could be more annoying than my brother!" Worst of all, they'd distracted her and made Gwen loose sight of the green mowhawk guy, and now she had no idea where Duncan could have got to. She was getting tired, and since there was no point in running without a Duncan to run after, Gwen began walked for a few minutes down a dirt path until she rounded a group of trees and stopped dead in her tracks, drawing her brows together inquiringly at the sight of the very familiar looking, cabin standing just up ahead.


	4. Duncan sends in a Little Chef

Part 4: Duncan Sends in a Little Chef

Gwen quickly figured out it was one of the old cabins from back at camp. But what was it doing here? "Oh well," she shrugged. "Nothing else makes sense, so why should this?"

She made her way up the front walk. She'd just reached up to knock the door, but before she could she was nearly plowed over by Duncan bursting out in a huge frenzy.

Gwen's eyes lit up at the sight of her long hunted friend. "Duncan!" she called. The punk one halted and spun around at the sound of her voice. "It's about time I found-…"

"Mary Ann!" Duncan stuck his hands on his hips and glowered at Gwen. "What do you think you're doing out here?"

"Huh!" To say Gwen was completely dumbstruck would be an understatement.

"Well? Answer me Mary Ann!"

If looks could kill, Ducan would have croaked on the spot from the one Gwen shot him. "Are you completely out of your mind Duncan! What the heck are you talking about?"

Duncan drew his rabbit ears back and approached Gwen menacingly. "Do not question me Mary Ann! Now get in that house and get me my piercing!" Duncan pointed to the door, and Gwen noticed he was missing his usual eyebrow piercing.

"You've finally snapped Duncan, you know who I am!" Gwen scowled indignantly. "And Mary Ann is an old lady's name! If you're going to pretend not to know me, at least do it right."

Duncan's crystal blue eyes burned a shade darker. "I said get my piercing! Or you'll end up dead, Mary Ann!"

"But-…"

"NOW!" Duncan exploded and shoved Gwen through the open door, slamming it shut behind her. The girl shakily composed herself and considered storming back out, but truth be known, Gwen was much more freaked out than usual by Duncan's insanity, and figured it would just be easier to find what he wanted rather than face his psychotic rage again.

"Tch, Mary Ann," she mumbled.

Gwen set to work searching the living room, and in a few minutes still had turned up nothing. "This is ridiculous," she grumbled, "running errands Duncan. And why didn't he just put on his stupid piercing while he was in here?"

Gwen was looking near the couch when she noticed a can of Coke sitting on the coffee table. She picked it up and popped the top, raising it to her mouth. "Well, I am a little thirsty from all this running around," she excused herself and took a drink. She grimaced as the bitter liquid flowed down her throat (The coke was probably spoiled), but it was better than nothing, so after taking a long swig she set the can back down and resumed her search. She was so preoccupied with rummaging through a side table drawer that she didn't notice her rapid increase in height until her head hit the ceiling.

"Wha-? Oh come on, not this AGAIN!" she cried. But whether she liked it or not, Gwen found herself growing larger and larger with each second that passed, and before she knew it she was forcibly scrunched up inside the room, most of the furniture in the cabin completely crushed beneath her expanding body. She frowned and shifted uncomfortably. Her neck was bent at a painful angle and her hair was getting tangled in the mass of wires and tubes adorning the ceiling.

"I'm reeeeealy starting to hate this place." Gwen narrowed her eyes in irritation and arched her back trying to adjust to a more comfortable position, the house groaning and creaking against her movement. "I just hope I don't grow any more." Luckily for Gwen this request was granted and she grew no bigger, though it didn't matter much by this time. Getting through the door was hopeless and she was already so large she could barely move.

"This is all your fault," she said, glaring at the soda can contemptibly. "And to think, yesterday everything was perfectly normal; I was being annoyed by my brother, hanging out with my friends, writing on my journal... but now everything's just weird!"

Gwen would have moped a little longer, but her thoughts were cut short by the sound of the doorknob turning. Duncan stepped inside. "Mary Ann! What is taking you so- AARRGH!" Suddenly he was violently slammed backwards as Gwen shoved her foot up against the door. The stubborn Boy, though taken aback, wasted no time picking himself up and trying again. "Mary Ann! What are you doing in there? Open this door right now!" Ducan's voice dripped with venom and he pounded on the door furiously, but Gwen effortlessly held it shut. "All right Mary Ann, if that's the way you want it…" Duncan's voice trailed off and Gwen heard the sound of retreating footsteps.

She breathed a sigh of relief until she heard a clatter at the front of the house. Duncan was at the window and had already managed to pull it open halfway. Gwen quickly shuffled towards the front of the room, squashing more furniture and knocking several pictures off the wall in the process, and shoved her arm through the opening, hitting the punk in the back and making him fall. Duncan shook his head as he sat up, and his eyes bugged out as he got a glimpse of what had hit him.

"YAH! MONSTER! There's a hideous monster in my house! AAAAAAAHHHHH!" Duncan ran around the side of the house screaming hysterically.

Gwen chuckled, quite satisfied with how that went, also happy to find that the room was much less cramped minus her arm. She leaned back contentedly, picked up the TV, and flipped through a few channels, deciding to make the most of the situation.

"Chef! CHEF!" Gwen suddenly heard Duncan shouting outside again. "Get over here!"

Chef? Gwen cocked an eyebrow and set down the TV.

"Uh hi, punk." a buff black man walked up to Duncan. "What do you need now?" he boredly stated until he noticed Duncan's agitated state. "Hey, what's wrong with your house?"

"There's a horrible beast inside my cabin!" Duncan pointed a shaking finger at Gwen's gigantic limb hanging out the window.

"…It just looks like an arm to me," Chef said after a thoughtful pause.

"Stupid moron!" Duncan screamed in a rage. "Have you ever seen an arm that size!"

"No, but it's still an arm."

"Grrrr! It's what's attached to the arm!" Duncan snarled. "Now get in there and dispose of it!"

Chef turned about four shades paler. "B-but-…"

"Please Chef?" Duncan put on a big fake smile and draped his arm over the man's shoulders, his voice saccharine sweet. "I promise I'll eat your... Delicious meals for a week. And get you all the burritos you want, man."

"Um… Okay, sure!" Chef chirped.

Duncan snickered wickedly. "Very good, now go up on the roof. I have a secret entrance up there that leads to my living room. Once you get inside, snag the monster with this," he handed Chef a butterfly net, "and make sure it doesn't catch you first; I think it already ate Mary Ann."

Duncan set a ladder against his cabin and Chef climbed up, butterfly net clutched tightly in hand, and made his way across the roof to where Duncan had instructed.

Inside, Gwen listened carefully to the man's footfalls, trying to judge where the secret entrance was located in, not even bothering to burn any brain cells wondering what Chef was doing there in the first place (was there a point trying to figure out anything logically? she thought). The footsteps ceased at one corner of the room and Gwen tapped lightly on the roof and her finger opened a little door.

"YAAAAHHHH!" Chef reacted when he saw the giant Gwen and from the rooftop. Duncan was not happy about this.

"RRRR!" he growled, tightening his hands into fists. "Miserable incompetent! Can't you do anythi- YEARGGH!" the punk skidded to the ground with a scream as Gwen snuck her hand up and flicked him in the backside. "Blech!" he gagged spitting out a mouthful of dirt and grass. He tried to stand up, but Gwen just knocked him on his face again, laughing out loud. She was finally beginning to enjoy her superior size.

"You know, this wouldn't be so bad if only I weren't stuck in here," she smiled.

Duncan picked himself up, shaking with white-hot rage. "That's it monster, you leave me no choice. Chef!"

"Y-yes?" answered the badly mangled man stumbling over obediently.

"There's only one thing left to do. We have to blow up the cabin!"

Gwen's smile vanished instantly. "What!"

"Oh, okay!" Chef peeped eagerly. "How should we do it?"

Duncan put a hand to his chin. "Hmm, I think we'll go with the antimatter explosives. Come on!" he motioned for Chef to follow him and began walking away.

"Okay!"

Gwen listened to the sound of the two leaving and her mind began racing frantically. "Are they crazy! They can't blow up the house! I'm still in here!"

She heard Duncan outside again. "Set them up over there. No, not there. There! Yes, right there should be good. The monster shouldn't be able to reach us here. Alright, let's start hooking them up."

Frantically, Gwen patted her hand around the yard, trying to locate the maniacal little Irken and his buff black minion. When that yielded no result she began pounding her fist against the ground, shouting, "You can't do this! This is insane, it's-!"

Chef could hear Gwen's muffled screams coming from inside the cabin. "Sir?"

"Mmm?"

"The monster's yelling something at us."

"Pay no attention to the monster," Duncan ordered fiddling with some switches. "Now hand me that cable."

"-never get away with this! Do you hear me! You-…!" Gwen slammed her fist down a final time in desperation. There was no way they were going to listen to her. She had to get out of there… and quick. "There has to be something in here that'll make me small again!" Gwen scanned the room for something… anything… that might work and saw a bowl of fruit sitting on a shelf. She snatched it up and popped it in her mouth, then quickly spit it out with a disgusted blech. "Ugh, note to self," said Gwen. "Next time make sure the fruit isn't wax first."

Meanwhile outside, Duncan finished hooking up the last wire to the detonation device and grinned evilly at his handiwork. "And now Chef, let's fire this baby up!"

"heheh ok!" Chef laughed. "After we're done exploding, I'll make us some snacks!"

Duncan sighed. "You know, Chef, your food can be poisonous at times." he reminded the man impatiently. "Its just that your food is just bad for anybody's health."

Gwen had had her face buried in her hands despondently up until this point, prepared to face the Reaper, but when she heard those words she gasped. "Of course!" CHEF'S FOOD IN THE FRIDGE (Who knew bad cooking can also save your life? )

She leaned on her side and scooted over to the kitchen entrance, reaching inside and feeling around for the fridge. "Hmm, let's see… kitchen table… chair…n'other chair … uh, something moving… garbage can… hey, is this it?… OUCH!… No, that would be the stove… um, don't know what the heck that is… oh, and that definitely doesn't feel right… uhhhhhh… Ah ha! Refrigerator!" she exclaimed triumphantly and yanked open the fridge door, ripping it right off its hinges in her haste. She fished around for a second and pulled out a plate of sticky food, and downed them without hesitation.

Back outside, Duncan laughed maniacally as he clutched the detonation device. "And now… the countdown! Goodbye monster!" He pulled out his pocket watch to time the blast, and his eyes suddenly bugged out in panic. "OH NO! Look at the time! I'm late again!" Duncan dropped the detonator and bolted out of the yard in one of his screaming fits as he disappeared from sight.

"No! Wait!" came a tiny voice.

Gwen grunted as she squeezed under the front door, having once again shrunk down too small. "Duncan! Waaaaiiiit!" She hopped off the front step and sprinted past Chef who just watched her go with an amused giggle; at her size, Gwen looked like an actual Barbie doll running around. After the teal haired goth girl was gone, Chef spotted the detonator on the ground and picked it up, eyeing it with awed curiosity. There was a big, pretty red button on it. Chef liked the color red.

As she was running, Gwen thought she heard an explosion and felt the ground shake slightly, but she was too focused on her mission to look back (had she done so she would have noticed a large black mushroom cloud rising over the trees). She could see Duncan up ahead through the tall jungle of grass, but she didn't stay in sight for long, and though Gwen tried to keep running she soon faltered and collapsed on her knees. There was no way she'd ever catch him while she was so small. And honestly, what would she do even if she did? Considering her unimpressive height, not a whole heck of a lot. She could maybe bite Duncan's ankles, but that was about it.

Just as she was thinking she couldn't get any lower, Gwen sensed a presence behind her. She whipped around and found a small puppy standing there, but of course to Gwen the puppy was the size of an elephant, and she screamed like a little girl and tried to make a run for it. Before she took two steps the puppy leaped over her head and blocked her path, its tail wagging playfully, and Gwen held her hands over her aching ears as it let out a tremendous bark. Gwen backed away slowly and groped for a stick she spotted on the ground. "N-nice doggy. Good doggy…" she coaxed, waving the stick in front of it. "C'mon, go get the stick! Go get it!" she said, and threw it as hard as she could. The second the dog was distracted, Gwen broke into a run, but the next thing she knew she was being followed by pounding footfalls that sounded like a cattle stampede, and a shadow with two floppy ears blocked out the light overhead. "Noooo!" Gwen let out a mournful wail as a pair of teeth closed around her torso. "Ack! No! Bad dog! BAD!" she shouted as the puppy trotted off with its prize, and Gwen could only imagine in terror what it would do with her.

…

A few minutes later, a pale hand emerged from the ground, followed by a dirt and doggy drool encrusted Gwen as she struggled her way out of the hole she'd just been buried in.

"Ugh," she grimaced and brushed herself off. "I really do hate this place now. And I hate being three inches tall!" she shouted to the sky, hoping for at least a dramatic peal of thunder. When she got none, she sighed in defeat and plopped down next to a large mushroom growing close by. Just as she was wiping away a smear of dog drool from her lips, she was suddenly startled by a familiar voice coming from on top of it.


End file.
